Drunk Fool or Cheating Bastard?

There are so many things I could have said at this point like: “Because you’re a married man asshole” or maybe “Because the last time you had my cell number you gave it to your psycho ex-girlfriend the night after you popped my cherry” but I didn’t mostly because someone could walk in any second and he was drunk and talking loud. I have enough drama in my life. So I did what I do best… I turned on my heel and ran away as fast as I could.

Read Full Post »

What do Aaron Lewis, Hairspray and Africa have in common?

Not much but Me!
They were my weekend.
I actually spent my entire weekend sitting on my butt at the Theatre!
First I took my Mom to the Laguna Playhouse to see a play called “Tranced.” It was about something terrible that happened in Africa. It was supposed to be deep and intellectual but the story sucked at [...]

Read Full Post »

It’s the Good Life…

The other day I ran into an old friend at the store, while I was debating which shampoo I wanted to buy she proceeded to tell me all about her divorce, her kids being kicked out of school, and how she was now living in a one room apartment with her three teenage sons.After she [...]

Read Full Post »

Is it Just Me?

OK am I the ONLY one who knows how to spell “3″ in French because of “Menage a trois?”
I swear I read that phrase all the time… I don’t know where, but I DO!
Well note to self: Next time lie and pretend to be fluent in French!
Merci Beaucoup!

 
 

Read Full Post »

Dirty Birdies!

So the other day I had been texting “PenPal” about something or other and I ended up sending him a text that said “U Suck”… clever huh? Well he ended up texting me back while I was teaching the toddler class.
So my phone kept beeping a missed message. I share my office with my Mom [...]

Read Full Post »

Attention Preschool Dads RE: Piercings

Dear Dads,
If you chose to have certain private parts pierced, please do not take showers with your preschooler anymore. Because your son will then come to school and inform his teachers about it. I don’t want to have that conversation with your kid… In fact I don’t want to know about that.
Thank You,
Your Child’s Preschool [...]

Read Full Post »

What I Want…

I want to be a different person
I want to do something special
I want to make memories
I want to have what they have
I want to give my heart away
I want to steal a kiss
I want to go on an adventure
I want to take chances
I want to try a new life
I want to love my flaws
I want [...]

Read Full Post »

Hiding

Please won’t somebody see me
See past the smile and kind words
Hiding in front of you
Behind the friends and chaos
Please see me behind the glass
Saying what I think you want to hear
If you get too close to finding me
I’ll hide behind a kiss
Kissing you goodbye
As I pull you closer
Borrowing time
Stealing what I can’t have
The more [...]

Read Full Post »

I’m so much “cooler” online!

I’m pretty good in person too… but I’m Horrible on the Phone!!!First off, I sound like a smurf on crack… and not that sexy smurfette either.
I talk too fast, I pause too long, and I generally have absolutely nothing interesting to say… If you are of the male persuasion!
I can talk to girls all day [...]

Read Full Post »

Who Knew Tracksuits were Sexy?

How come when you’re all dolled up you get nothing, but you go to the nail salon in your sweats and some guy’s going to see you getting a pedicure and ask the salon owner to hand you a slip of paper…
“I couldn’t help but notice How Pretty you are. I’d like to get to [...]

Read Full Post »